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"I've been a
cartoonist for over two decades and I can offer some thought as to why the
Looney Tunes characters will not succeed in
the 21st century.
One reason is that viewer
sensitivity has forced censorship of the cartoons, but here is my idea of
where these cartoon characters would be today if they had continued to be the
animated superstars they were 50 years ago.
Elmer Fudd seriously lacked
firearm safety and his careless use of guns would
land him in a federal
prison.
He would be convicted of weapons violations to include:
Possession of
a firearm without a proper permit, attempted murder and
an assault with a deadly weapon.
Fudd would remain incarcerated without
parole.
Bugs Bunny
would come out of his
hole with the need to publicly announce his
symptoms of nervousness,
craving,
insomnia, and
irritability which are
associated with withdrawal from
excessive carrot eating.
Bugs would volunteer publically for rehab
in an effort to seek
sympathy from his viewers and restore his career.
Wile E. Coyote, a mastermind,
lives a life of violence and
a thorough investigation shows
numerous credit
transactions to the ACME Corporation for the purchase of items used with
the intent to harm a US
resident.
The
Department of Homeland Security views this as an act of terrorism and has
him arrested,
interrogated and
shipped to the
Guantanamo Bay detention
camp where he will be detained
indefinitely.

The
suspicious cuckoo hyperactive
behavior of Roadrunner requires a search; when
a controlled substance is
found he too is incarcerated.
Upon release his personality is
now similar to a chicken; he becomes part of a three piece special at the
Roadhouse Bar & Grill in Bisbee, Arizona.
The
Tasmanian Devil continues
to have anger issues, so
antiDepressant
such as Prozac®,
Celexa® and
Zoloft® are
prescribed by a doctor.
It helps his mood, but he now fights
an addiction to prescription drugs.
Tweetie Bird becomes
an important figure for the Humane Society.
They force regulations to increase his
cage size to give him more room.
Marvin the Martian is a real spacey
dude. He's like way way
out there!
Pepé Le Pew
is now portrayed as a pervert
and although his actions may
seem innocent to him, in legal context his behavior is sexual harassment.
Several witness' have come forward and his career in comedy is
over.
Porky Pig,
who advanced slowly in social
development, developed an
eating disorder and joins two-thirds of adults considered to be overweight
or obese.
Speedy
Gonzales was an illegal immigrant deported back to Mexico.
Yosemite Sam was arrested
for transporting weapons across
the border.
Foghorn
Leghorn and Daffy
Duck travelled to the Boondoggle HQ in Afghanistan to negotiate the release
of their old friend Sam.
Detained in customs by the Department of
Agriculture for not having the proper export/import vaccination papers they are
both euthanized.
Th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"
Rick
Friday |
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This website defines a
new perspective with which to engage reality to which its author adheres. The
author feels that the falsification of reality outside personal experience has
forged a populace unable to discern propaganda from reality and that this has
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Religious intolerance occurs when any group refuses to tolerate religious
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