3 Looney Tunes Moments

"I've been a cartoonist for over two decades and I can offer some thought as to why the Looney Tunes characters will not succeed in the 21st century.

One reason is that viewer sensitivity has forced censorship of the cartoons, but here is my idea of where these cartoon characters would be today if they had continued to be the animated superstars they were 50 years ago.

Elmer Fudd seriously lacked firearm safety and his careless use of guns would land him in a federal prison.

He would be convicted of weapons violations to include: Possession of a firearm without a proper permit, attempted murder and an assault with a deadly weapon. Fudd would remain incarcerated without parole.

Bugs Bunny would come out of his hole with the need to publicly announce his symptoms of nervousness, craving, insomnia, and irritability which are associated with withdrawal from excessive carrot eating.

Bugs would volunteer publically for rehab in an effort to seek sympathy from his viewers and restore his career.

Wile E. Coyote, a mastermind, lives a life of violence and a thorough investigation shows numerous credit transactions to the ACME Corporation for the purchase of items used with the intent to harm a US resident.

The Department of Homeland Security views this as an act of terrorism and has him arrested, interrogated and shipped to the Guantanamo Bay detention camp where he will be detained indefinitely.

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The suspicious cuckoo hyperactive behavior of Roadrunner requires a search; when a controlled substance is found he too is incarcerated.

Upon release his personality is now similar to a chicken; he becomes part of a three piece special at the Roadhouse Bar & Grill in Bisbee, Arizona.

The Tasmanian Devil continues to have anger issues, so antiDepressant such as Prozac®, Celexa® and Zoloft® are prescribed by a doctor.

It helps his mood, but he now fights an addiction to prescription drugs.

Tweetie Bird becomes an important figure for the Humane Society.

They force regulations to increase his cage size to give him more room.

Marvin the Martian is a real spacey dude. He's like way way out there!

Pepé Le Pew is now portrayed as a pervert and although his actions may seem innocent to him, in legal context his behavior is sexual harassment.

Several witness' have come forward and his career in comedy is over.

Porky Pig, who advanced slowly in social development, developed an eating disorder and joins two-thirds of adults considered to be overweight or obese.

Speedy Gonzales was an illegal immigrant deported back to Mexico.

Yosemite Sam was arrested for transporting weapons across the border.

Foghorn Leghorn and Daffy Duck travelled to the Boondoggle HQ in Afghanistan to negotiate the release of their old friend Sam.

Detained in customs by the Department of Agriculture for not having the proper export/import vaccination papers they are both euthanized.

Th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"

Rick Friday

that all folks

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