3 Looney Tunes Moments

"I've been a cartoonist for well over two decades and I can offer some thought as to why the Looney Tunes characters will not succeed in the 21st century.

One reason is that viewer sensitivity has forced censorship of the cartoons, but here is my idea of where these cartoon characters would be today if they had continued to be the animated superstars they were 50 years ago.

Elmer Fudd seriously lacked firearm safety and his careless use of guns would land him in a federal prison.

He would be convicted of weapons violations to include: Possession of a firearm without a proper permit, attempted murder and an assault with a deadly weapon. Fudd would remain incarcerated without parole.

Bugs Bunny would come out of his hole with the need to publicly announce his symptoms of nervousness, craving, insomnia, and irritability which are associated with withdrawal from excessive carrot eating.

The basis for the addiction is believed to be beta carotene, found in carrots.

Bugs would volunteer publically for rehab in an effort to seek sympathy from his viewers and restore his career.

Wile E. Coyote, a mastermind, lives a life of violence and a thorough investigation shows numerous credit transactions to the ACME Corporation for the purchase of items used with the intent to harm a US resident.

Homeland Security views this as an act of terrorism and has him arrested, interrogated and shipped to the Guantanamo Bay detention camp where he will be detained indefinitely.

cow selfies

The Roadrunner's suspicious cuckoo hyperactive behavior would require a drug test and even though no controlled substance was found in his urine he is still downcast by his admirers.

His sudden change in appearance and personality becomes similar to a chicken and he mistakenly becomes part of a three piece special at the Roadhouse Bar & Grill in Bisbee, Arizona.

The Tasmanian Devil cyclone continues to have anger issues, so antiDepressant such as Prozac®, Celexa® and Zoloft® are prescribed by a doctor.

It helps his mood, but he now fights an addiction to prescription drugs and refuses to leave the shipping crate he calls Home.

Tweetie Bird becomes an important figure for the Humane Society.

They force regulations to increase his cage size to give him more room to move around freely and Sylvester the cat gets neutered.

Marvin the Martian is a real spacey dude. He's like way way out there!

Pepé Le Pew is now portrayed as a pervert and although his actions and comments may seem innocent to him, in most modern legal contexts his behavior is illegal sexual harassment, as defined by the law.

Several witness' have come forward and his career in comedy is over.

Porky Pig, who advanced slowly in social development, cannot handle losing his star power after the fall of his golden years in American animation.

He developed an eating disorder and joins the more than two-thirds of adults considered to be overweight or obese.

Speedy Gonzales was an illegal immigrant deported back to Mexico and escorted by Yosemite Sam, who was quickly arrested for transporting weapons across the border.

Foghorn Leghorn and Daffy Duck planned on travelling to the US Embassy in Mexico to negotiate the release of their old friend Sam, but they were contained in customs by the Department of Agriculture for not having the proper export/import vaccination papers. Instead of risking the spread of the Avian Bird Flu virus they are both euthanized.

Th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"

Rick Friday

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