Morn and Angus

The men who observed these things had no other way to account for them, so they jumped to the one conclusion which made sense to them; a conclusion which suited both Angus' reputation and their own cynicism.

Without any viable external evidence; he'd given her a zone implant.

He had the control in his pocket.

Zone implants were illegal, of course.

They were so illegal that unauthorized use carried the death penalty.

But - also of course - mere questions of legality didn't stop people who worked the belt from having them on hand for emergencies.

In essence, a zone implant was a radio electrode which could be installed in the brain where its emissions were remarkably effective.

It had been invented by a doctor trying to control grand mal epileptic seizures; its emissions blanked out the neural storm of the seizure.

People bought the myth that was where the name "zone" came from: an active implant gave an epileptic the look of being "completely zoned."

In fact medical research had quickly discovered that a variety of results could be obtained by tuning the implant to different 'zones' of the brain.

Violent insanities could be tamed.

Manic behaviors could be moderated.

Catatonia could be relieved - or induced.

Recalcitrance could be turned into coöperation.

Pain could be reinterpreted as pleasure.

Volition could be suppressed without interrupting consciousness.

the puppet master


“That which secures life from exhaustion lies in the unseen world, deep at the roots of things.” - Rudolf Steiner, An Outline of Occult Science

Given a broad-spectrum zone implant, which employed several electrodes, and an unscrupulous control operator, independent human beings could be transformed into intelligent, effective, and loyal slaves.

Common narrow spectrum implants could turn humans into physical puppets by applying intense neural punishment and rewards.

Unauthorized use of a zone implant carried the death penalty: automatically.

Despite the possibilities of abuse - reputable miners and pilots, ore haulers and handlers, considered zone implants necessary medical equipment.

The reason was simple.

Medical science had developed ways for idiots to treat complex diseases.

Ways for belt pilots to repair the damage done by faulty or inadequate equipment; ways for crushed limbs and crushed organs to be restored.

Unfortunately, however, no amount of research had discovered a cure for gap-sickness, that strange breakdown of the mind which took perhaps one out of every hundred people who crossed the dimensional gap and reduced him or her to a psychotic killer or a null-wave transmitter, a raving bulimic or a gleeful self-flagellant, a pedophiliac or a pill-junkie.

One out of every hundred people had some category of undetectable vulnerability in the tissue of the brain; and when that vulnerability was translated across light-years of space through the imponderable physics of the gap, some thing happened to that vulnerable brain.

Otherwise healthy individuals lost command of their lives in invariably startling, often grotesque, and sometimes murderous fashions.

There was no cure for gap-sickness.

But there was a way to cope with it.

The zone implant.

He put a hand on her chin and turned her face toward him.

The stark horror was back in her eyes.

Her whisper was faraway and forlorn, lost in darkness.

"I initiated self-destruct. From the auxiliary bridge."

His fingers clamped onto her jaw as if he could force her to tell the truth.

He thrust his face close to hers. "You did what?"

"We were chasing you."

Her gaze didn't react to his proximity: the things that appalled her were so bright she couldn't register anything else.

"Dodging asteroids. G was awful. I thought we were going to break up. I was at my station. Auxiliary bridge. I thought the straps on my seat were going to tear. Or I was going to rupture."

"Then it stopped. I could see you on the screens. But I didn't care. You destroyed that mining camp. I had already seen you kill all those miners."

"I didn't care. I should have cared, but I didn't."

"The whole inside of my head was different."

"I was floating, and everything was clear."

"Like a vision."

"It was like the universe spoke to me. I got the message, the Truth."

Her stare remained fixed; but now she had to fight to keep her sobs down.

"The 'truth.' I knew exactly what to do. What I had to do. I didn't question."

"I keyed the self-destruct sequence into the computer. That was supposed to blow up both drives. We would have been turned to powder."

"You aren't an officer," Angus objected. "You're practically a kid. How did you know the self-destruct codes?"

"We all knew the codes. Anyone of us could do it.

So Starmaster wouldn't be captured. That was our first priority.

We're all reliable. Most of us are family.

They wouldn't let anybody who wasn't reliable on a ship like that."

"But fa-Captain Hyland caught what I was doing. He tried to abort. Only the thrusters exploded. I could hear him yelling at me over the intercom - yelling at me because I was his daughter and I was destroying his ship, I was destroying him. His sister and brothers. My cousins. Destroying them."

"And then it wasn't clear anymore. There wasn't any vision.

We weren't in danger. It was a lie. I killed my whole family for no reason."

He bared his teeth. "You're my crew now. You've been impressed."

He relished the word.

"When I tell you to do something, I expect it done."

He could see panic in her face.

"You bastard, " she breathed for the second time. "I am not your crew."

"I am going to leave you rotting in lockup. What have you done to me?"

Angus didn't answer directly: he was having too much fun.

Instead, he showed her the control in his hand.

The shock when she recognized the small box was everything he wanted.

It was like her horror of the way she had murdered her family in despair and extremity; and yet profoundly different in other, crucial respects.

Terror and loathing burned across her face.

Her hands sprang to her mouth; she made an attempt to cry out.

Then he lost his self possession.

Already on the edge of restraint: the sight of her pushed him past his limits.

She was clean - and being clean brought back her fundamental beauty.

She was probably the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen this close.

And she showed a category of courage simply by leaving the san.

She had the capacity to face her fate.

Her eyes shone with a heart wrenching combination of fright and defiance, with a dread of what he could do to her mixed with a refusal to be cowed.

And he could do anything he wanted.

He had the control to her zone implant clenched in his sweating fingers.

For that reason, he pushed the button which took away her ability to move.

Then he put down the control and beat her bloody with his bare fists, marring her beauty so that it wouldn't terrify him anymore.

He couldn't stop trembling.

After all, it was a good thing that he'd hit her.

The darkness and swelling of her bruises made her bearable: if she'd remained perfect, he would have had no choice but to kill her.

He paid no attention to the firm lift of breasts or the velvet curve of hips.

He concentrated exclusively on the livid bruises as he climbed on top of her.

His orgasm was so intense he thought for a moment he'd broken something.

Before he rolled off her, he had the satisfaction of seeing eyes flutter open.

He saw her begin to realize what he'd done.

He filled her with revulsion, even though there was nothing she could do.

That was good.

Nevertheless he continued trembling.

He could no longer tell whether he was excited or afraid.

"Does that make you feel like a man?"

She sounded bitter and miserable - and faraway.

The shock aftereffects of his blows muffled her distress.

"Do you have to destroy me to feel good yourself? Are you that sick?"

"Shut up," he replied amiably. "You'll get used to it. You'll have to."

He still had to brace his hands on his hips to conceal the way they shook.

Stephen R. Donaldson, from The Real Story: The Gap into Conflict

Stephen R. Donaldson was attending Kent State University as a graduate student at the time of the Kent State massacre on May 4, 1970.

Lord Foul's Bane, the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever

Mordant's Need The Mirror of Her Dreams (1986)

A Man Rides Through (1987)

Gap series The Gap into Conflict: The Real Story (1991)

The Gap into Vision: Forbidden Knowledge (1991)

The Gap into Power: A Dark and Hungry God Arises (1993)

The Gap into Madness: Chaos and Order (1994)

The Gap into Ruin: This Day All Gods Die (1996)

I Am A Rock

Like A Rock

Diamonds and Rust

Ad Campaign Invents Diamond Engagement Ring

"A diamond is forever," the implication is that ownership of a thing of guaranteed value will give oneself a value of permanent unassailability.

It is as though one did not have to be lovable to be loved if one is wearing a diamond, a magic ring that attracts all persons at all times." - Jean Liedloff


Chinese charater for endure

to bear with tolerance

to continue in existence; last

to suffer patiently without yielding

to carry on through, despite hardships

No greater misfortune can happen to us,
than not to be able to bear misfortune

"Every man, like every dog, has an individual limit of endurance.

Most men reach their limit after about thirty days of more or less continuous stress under the conditions of modern combat.

The more than averagely susceptible succumb in only fifteen days.

The more than averagely tough can resist for forty-five days.

Strong or weak, in the long run all of them break down.

All, that is to say, of those who are initially sane.

For, ironically enough, the only people who can hold up indefinitely under the stress of modern war are psychotics.

Individual insanity is immune to the consequence of collective insanity."

Aldous Huxley

Strong Enough

Joseph Marshall III

Sisyphus Rolling Rock Up Hill

Papa Was A Rolling Stone

"The grace and benefits of the Creator are eternal and infinite.

Misery is hard to endure but over time it is relieved, and anguish vanishes.

After the deep despair of frustration, hope blossoms.

After the sun descends, thousands of stars shine.

The Will of the Creator reigns supreme." - Rumi

Gut Microbes Link Stress and Autoimmune Disease

Abnormalities in neuroendocrine stress response in psychosis

Health may hinge on being cheerful during stress

"We are trying to figure out what causes aging and premature aging.

We all know that stress appears to age people - just look at the aging of our presidents after four years.

The new study demonstrates that there is no such thing as separation of mind and body - the very molecules in our bodies are responsive to our psychological environment." - Dr. Dennis Novack, who studies the link between emotions and health at Drexel University College of Medicine

Scientists have identified the first direct link between stress and aging, a finding that explains why intense, long-term emotional strain can make individuals chronically sick and grow old before their time.

Chronic stress hastens the shriveling of the tips of the bundles of genes inside cells shortening their life span and speeding overall deterioration of the body according to a study involving mothers caring for chronically ill children.

The study focused on the telomeres in the chromosomes of particular immune cells of 58 women between the ages of 20 and 50.

Telomeres cap the ends of chromosomes and shorten as cells reproduce.

When they reach a minimum level the cells can no longer reproduce.

The report, published in the late fall of 2004 by the National Academy of Sciences, found that the telomeres in the cells of women under stress had undergone the equivalent of 10 years of additional aging, compared to women living more normal lives.

"Chronic stress has the potential to shorten the life of immune cells.

This is the first time that psychological stress has been linked to a cellular indicator of aging in healthy people." - Elissa Epel of University of California at San Francisco

Stress conditions such as a wound can also trigger cancer formation.

"Different conditions can trigger stress signaling: physical stress, emotional stress, infections, inflammation - all these things cause cancer." - Tian Xu

watching people

Doctor My Eyes

Emotion is an automatic response to environmental conditions.

People repress unpleasant emotions which lead to unpleasant thoughts.

Subconscious emotional repression is a "normal" human response.

Shame follows guilt at sins committed, debts that demand repayment.

The easiest method of doing this is simply avoiding the unpleasant thought patterns that might lead you down the rabbit hole of 'negativity.'

Anyone that has lived for any length of time observing the movements of their own emotions recognizes the stirrings of neurotic thought patterns under times of physical or emotional stress that absorb conscious thought.

unique library index

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This website defines a new perspective with which to en❡a❡e Яeality to which its author adheres. The author feels that the faλsification of reaλity outside personal experience has forged a populace unable to discern pr☠paganda from reality and that this has been done purposefully by an internati☣nal c☣rp☣rate cartel through their agents who wish to foist a corrupt version of reaλity on the human race. Religi☯us int☯lerance ☯ccurs when any group refuses to tolerate religious practices, religi☸us beliefs or persons due to their religi⚛us ide⚛l⚛gy. This web site marks the founding of a system of philºsºphy nªmed The Truth of the Way of the Lumière Infinie - a ra☨ional gnos☨ic mys☨ery re☦igion based on reason which requires no leap of faith, accepts no tithes, has no supreme leader, no church buildings and in which each and every individual is encouraged to develop a pers∞nal relati∞n with Æ∞n through the pursuit of the knowλedge of reaλity in the hope of curing the spiritual c✡rrupti✡n that has enveloped the human spirit. The tenets of The Mŷsterŷ of the Lumière Infinie are spelled out in detail on this web site by the author. Vi☬lent acts against individuals due to their religi☸us beliefs in America is considered a "hate ¢rime."

This web site in no way c☬nd☬nes vi☬lence. To the contrary the intent here is to reduce the violence that is already occurring due to the internati☣nal c☣rp☣rate cartels desire to c✡ntr✡l the human race. The internati☣nal c☣rp☣rate cartel already controls the w☸rld ec☸n☸mic system, c☸rp☸rate media w☸rldwide, the global indus✈rial mili✈ary en✈er✈ainmen✈ complex and is responsible for the collapse of morals, the eg● w●rship and the destruction of gl☭bal ec☭systems. Civilization is based on coöperation. Coöperation with bi☣hazards of a gun.

American social mores and values have declined precipitously over the last century as the corrupt international cartel has garnered more and more power. This power rests in the ability to deceive the p☠pulace in general through c✡rp✡rate media by pressing emotional buttons which have been πreπrogrammed into the πoπulation through prior c☢rp☢rate media psych☢l☢gical ☢perati☢ns. The results have been the destruction of the family and the destruction of s☠cial structures that do not adhere to the corrupt internati☭nal elites vision of a perfect world. Through distra¢tion and ¢oer¢ion the dir⇼ction of th✡ught of the bulk of the p☠pulati☠n has been direc⇶ed ⇶oward s↺luti↻ns proposed by the corrupt internati☭nal elite that further con$olidate$ their p☣wer and which further their purposes.

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