True Compassion is not based on romanctic fantasy.

Love potion number 9

Chinese charater for to make love

"A woman and a man, if their mutual passion depends merely on pleasure or self-interest, will be tied to each other just as long as they remain a source of pleasure or profit for each other. The moment this comes to an end, the real reason for their passion will also end." - Aristotle

"Better a thousand times to fall a prey to smallpox than to be inoculated with the germ of Talmudwood passion, which is nothing but a bestial service of lust camouflaged by fine dresses and glamorous music." - Theodore Graebner

We have been conditioned to ache for soul transforming passion.

Our strangest cultural ideal:

ultimate fulfillment as an individual happens lost in the bliss of the neural reward of sexual passion.

The idealization of sex as a force for personal liberation and self fulfillment would have struck the Greeks, icons of sexual liberation as ludicrous.

To the Greeks, Eros was a powerful force of nature, volatile and destructive.

Necessary for life to continue but prone to sudden uncontrollable excess.

Greeks invent a repertoire of images to communicate erotic destructiveness:

insanity, burning disease, the violence of war – all expressed the rationality destroying power of sexual desire.

Eros is the conflagration that burns Troy leaving its plains strewn with corpses, due to the illicit passion of Paris and Hellen.

The inherited imagery of Eros, the Greek Cupid, has been emptied of its sinister connotations and signifing instead sexual sentimentalism.

The Greeks understood that cultural controls were necessary both to limit the force of sex and to exploit its imaginative creative energy.

Sexual taboos, the institution of marriage, emotions like guilt and shame, reason itself, all were devices for clipping Eros' wings.


Mandolin Wind

The Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch leave us models of the results of liberating Eros from social checks.

After the French Revolution introduced the concept of sexual "freedom" repressive political regimes began to exhibit hostility toward sexual licentiousness - repression George Orwell identified as totalitarianism.

In this new 'First World' of inverted totalitarianism the base animal instincts and unnatural desires are glorified as life sustaining and fulfilling.

Within the international social cultural psyche sex has been commodified.

Attempting to excise the transcendental core of union between two unique discrete beings of this First World is the goal of MICE culture.

Sexual intimacy is diminished and debased by commoditization.

For this reason sex has enormous subversive potential.

The sacred dimension of sex involves the dissolution of the separation.

Physical pleasure alone cannot satiate the spirits desire for divine union.

Ecstasy awaits us when we throw off separations shackles.





Chantilly Lace

Radical feminists who meticulously catalog the depredations of heterosexual Eros are silent about the darker side of homosexuality.

Sentimental rhetoric blinds us to poison dripping from the arrows of Eros.

Predators feed off liberated sexuality as liberated sexuality sells product.

People easily confuse sexual passion with compassion.

Passion based solely in pleasure in another is not compassion at all.

True Compassion is not based on vacuous gazes.

There's a kind of hush

Me and Bobby McGee

Ode to Billy Joe

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia -
to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess. " - HL Mencken


Your Song

Gene Wars r K Selection Theory P1

Rational dissociation suggests rational mechanisms of mate choice as no single human decision is more important than the choice of a mate.

Men and women have always depended on each other for survival.

While rationality sets a minimum threshold on who qualifies as a mate, rationality profoundly fails to predict the final choice.

Hormone fired desire is the human emotion that bonds men to women.

How did blind passion - emotional dependency through delusional idealization evolve to solve a problem better solved by cool rationality?

Honky Tonk Women

Ruby don't take your love to town

Suicides based on romantic passion have occurred in all cultures.

Unrequited romantic passion may consume a person.

Parental objections and cultural chasms create separation.

Nearly everyone experiences unrequited romantic passion as a young adult.


Lay down Sally

Bonds forged with romantic passion require protection.

To understand sexual passion look at human reproductive biology.

To produce a single child, women bear the burden and pleasure of nine months of pregnancy - an obligatory parental investment men cannot share.

To produce a child men need only devote a few hours - or a few minutes.

Over time the strategy of casual mating proved to be more reproductively successful for men than for women.

An ancestral woman, even one having sex with multiple partners in the course of a single year will still produce only a single child.

Men therefore evolved a desire for sex with a variety of women.

Evolutionary reasons for the desire for sexual variety suggest universality.

True Compassion is based on respect and compromise.

Matty Groves

Three scientific realities provide compelling evidence.

First, the existence of male sexual jealousy.

Male jealousy is an evolutionary biological response to a loss of loyalty.

Infidelity is known in all cultures, including tribal societies, pointing to the universal prevalence of infidelity.

Prevalence rates vary from culture to culture (high in Sweden and low in China), but infidelity occurs everywhere.

Sexual infidelity causes divorce worldwide more than any other marital violation, being closely rivaled only by the infertility of the union.

No Evidence for Sperm Wars

True Compassion is based on compassion and trust.


Women choose healthy sexual partners.

Women benefit from multiple sexual partners in countless ways.

Women who have sex with different men produce more genetically diverse children, providing a "hedge" against environmental change.

Some ancestral women purchased mate insurance, a backup replacement in the event that something happened to her regular partner.

Women are five times more likely to experience sexual desire when they are ovulating than when they are not.

Women tend to time their sexual liaisons to coincide with the peak of their sexual desire, when they are most likely to conceive.

Sex with husbands is most likely to occur when women were not ovulating, a strategy aimed at keeping a man rather than conceiving with him.

Women experience sexual desire when they are ovulating, and if they have an extra martial sexual liaison partner, have urges to have sex with him.

Spouses experience a signal detection problem.

The signal detection problem is not merely about picking up accurate signals in the face of an uncertain and ambiguous welter of information.

It is also about making correct inferences about the cause of the signal.

As sexual infidelity is invariably secret, signals emited are intentionally muted.

A European psychiatrist counseled many couples referred to him in which one of the husband experienced "morbid jealousy."

Most of his cases were husbands who he felt had delusions their wives were sexually unfaithful, and these delusions destroyed the fabric of trust.

As he believed that morbid jealousy was a psychiatric illness that could not be cured, his most common recommendation was that the couples separate.

Many couples followed his recommendations.

As he was keenly interested in the subsequent fate of his patients, he routinely contacted them after a number of months had passed.

He discovered that many of the wives had subsequently become sexually involved with the very men about whom their husbands had been jealous!

Some of the women actually married the objects of their husbands suspicions.

The husbands were subconsciously sensing signs of infidelity.

As the wives proclaimed innocence and declared that their husbands jealousy was irrational husbands were decieved - and so was the psychiatrist.

True Compassion is the greatest thing in the world.

I'm Not In Love

Afternoon Delight

'You complete me' may be sappy but true

Jealousy is a part of human nature because of the threat of sexual treachery.

Evolution has forged elaborate defenses to detect and fend off threat of loss.

All cultures develop elaborate moral codes to reign in muderous passion.

Jealousy can be emotional acid that corrodes marriages, undermines self-esteem, triggers battering, and leads to the ultimate crime of murder.

Jealous men are more likely to preserve valuable commitments to their own children rather than squandering them on the children of their rivals.

As descendants of a long line of men who acted to ensure their paternity, modern men carry with them the dangerous passion of jealousy.

Jealousy can destroy previously harmonious relationships and is not always a reaction to an infidelity that has already been discovered but may be an anticipatory response to intutive feelings of infidelity or lack of loyalty.

"Labeling jealousy as pathological simply because a spouse has not yet strayed ignores the fact that jealousy can head off an infidelity that might be lurking on the horizon of a relationship." - David M. Buss

unique library index

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