Truth! stark, naked truth,
is the word.
My maiden name was Frances Hill.
I was born at
a small village near
Liverpool, in Lancashire, of parents extremely poor, and, I piously believe,
My education, till past fourteen, was no better than very
vulgar; reading, or rather spelling, an illegible scrawl, and
a little ordinary plain work composed
the whole system of it; and then all
my foundation in virtue
was no other than a total ignorance of
vice, and the shy timidity general to our sex, in
the tender stage of life when
objects alarm or frighten more by their
novelty than anything else.
was now entering on my fifteenth year, when the worst of ills befell me in the
loss of my tender fond parents, who were
both carried off by the
smallpox, within a few days of each other; my father dying first, and
thereby hastening the death of
my mother; so that I was now left an unhappy friendless orphan.
Left thus alone, absolutely
destitute and friendless, I
began then to feel most bitterly the severity of this separation, but the
affliction I felt at my helpless strange circumstances burst out into a flood
of tears, which relieved the oppression of my heart; though
remained stupefied, and perplex'd at how to compose and comport
As I had now nobody left alive in the village who had concern
enough about what should become of me to start any objections to a scheme, and
as the woman who took care of me after my parents death encouraged me to pursue
it, I soon came to a
resolution of making this launch into the wide world, by repairing to
London, in order to SEEK MY FORTUNE, a phrase which, by the bye, has
ruined more adventurers of
both sexes, from the country, than ever it made or advanced.
Accordingly, the next morning I dress'd myself as clean and as neat as
my rustic wardrobe would permit me; and having left my dowry chest, with
special recommendation, with the landlady, I ventured out by myself, and
without any more
difficulty than can be supposed of a young country girl, barely fifteen,
and to whom every sign or
shop was a gazing trap, I got to the wish'd for
After I had been cheer'd up and entertain'd along the way with the most
plausible flams, without one syllable from which I could conclude anything but
that I was, by the greatest good luck, fallen into the hands of the kindest
mistress, not to say friend, that the world could afford; and accordingly I
enter'd her doors with most compleat confidence and exultation.
mistress first began her part, with telling me that I must have good spirits,
and learn to be free with
her; that she had not taken me to be a common servant, to do domestic drudgery,
but to be a kind of companion to her; and that if I would be a good girl, she
would do more than twenty mothers for me; to all which I answered only by
the profoundest and the
awkwardest curtsies, and a few monosyllables, such as 'yes! no! to be sure!
In the midst of these false explanations of
the nature of my future service, we
were rung for again, and I was introduced into the parlour, where there was a
table laid with three covers; and my mistress had now got with her one of her
favorite girls, a notable manager of her house, and whose business it was to
prepare and break such young fillies as I was to the mounting-block.
pass the interval to bed-time, in which I was more and more pleas'd with the
views that opened to me, of an easy service under
these good people; and after supper being shew'd up to bed, Miss Phoebe,
who observed a kind of reluctance in me to strip and go to bed, in my shift,
before her, now the maid was withdrawn, came up to me, beginning with unpinning
my handkerchief and gown, soon encouraged me to go on with undressing myself;
blushing at seeing myself
naked to my shift, I hurried under the bedcloaths out of sight.
Phoebe laugh'd and was not long before she placed herself by my side.
She was about five and twenty, by her most suspicious account, in
which, according to all
appearances, she must have sunk at least ten good years; allowance, too,
being made for the havoc which a long course of hackneyship and hot waters must
have made of her constitution, and which had already brought on, upon the spur,
that stale stage in which those of her profession are reduced to think of
SHOWING company, instead of SEEING it.
No sooner then was this precious
substitute of my mistress's laid down, but she, who was never out of her way
when any occasion of lewdness presented itself, turned to me, embraced and
kiss'd me with great eagerness.
This was new, this was odd; but
imputing it to nothing but pure kindness, which, for aught I knew, it might be
the London way to express in that manner, I was determin'd not to be behind
hand with her, and returned her the kiss and embrace, with all the fervour that
perfect innocence knew.
Encouraged by this, her
hands became extremely free, and wander'd over my whole body, with touches,
squeezes, pressures, that rather warm'd and surpriz'd me with their novelty,
than they either shock'd or
The flattering praises she
intermingled with these invasions, contributed also not
a little to bribe my passiveness; and, knowing
no ill, I feared none, especially from one who had prevented all doubt of her womanhood by conducting my
hands to a pair of breasts that hung loosely down, in a size and volume
that full sufficiently distinguished her sex, to me at least, who had never
made any other comparison.
I lay then
all tame and passive as she could wish'd, whilst her freedom raised no
other emotions but those of a strange, and, till then, unfelt
Every part of me was open and exposed to the licentious courses of her
hands, which, like a lambent fire, ran over my whole body, and thaw'd all
coldness as they went.
My breasts, if it is
not too bold a figure to call so two
hard, firm, rising hillocks, that just began to shew themselves, or signify
anything to the touch, till, slipping down lower, over a smooth track, she
could just feel the soft silky down that had but a few months before put forth
and garnish'd the mount-pleasant of those parts, and promised to spread a
shelter over the seat of the most exquisite sensation, and which had been, till
that instant, the seat of the most insensible innocence.
play'd and strove to twine in the young
tendrils of that moss, which nature has contrived at once for use and
Not contented with these outer posts,
she now attempts the main spot, and began to twitch, to insinuate, and at
length to force an introduction of a finger into the quick itself, in such a
manner, that had she not proceeded by insensible gradations that inflamed me
beyond the power of modesty to
oppose its résistance to their progress, I should have jump'd out of bed
and cried for help against such strange assaults.
Instead of which, her
lascivious touches had lighted up a new fire that wanton'd through all my
veins, but fix'd with violence in that center appointed them by nature, where
the first strange hands were now busied in feeling, squeezing, compressing the
lips, then opening them again, with a finger between, till an 'Oh!' express'd
her hurting me, where the narrowness of the
unbroken passage refused it entrance to any depth.
In the meantime,
the extension of my limbs, languid stretchings, sighs, short heavings, all
conspired to assure that experienced wanton that I was more pleased than
offended at her proceedings, which she seasoned with repeated kisses and
exclamations, such as 'Oh! what a charming creature thou art! ... What
a happy man will he be that
first makes a woman of you! ... Oh! that I
were a man for your sake! ... with the
expressions, interrupted by kisses as fierce and fervent as ever I received
from the other sex.
'No!' says Phoebe, 'you must not, my sweet girl,
think to hide all these treasures from me. My sight must be feasted as well as
my touch ... I must devour with my eyes this springing BOSOM ... Suffer me to
kiss it ... I have not seen it enough ... Let me kiss it once more ... What
firm, smooth, white flesh is here! ... How delicately shaped! ... Then this
delicious down! Oh! let me view the small, dear, tender cleft! ... This is too
much, I cannot bear it! ...
Here she took
my hand, and in a transport carried it where you will guess.
difference in the state of the same thing! ... A spreading thicket of bushy
curls marked the full-grown, complete woman.
Then the cavity to which
she guided my hand easily received it; and as soon as she felt it within her,
she moved herself to and fro, with so rapid a friction that I presently
withdrew it, wet and clammy, when instantly Phoebe grew more composed, after
two or three sighs, and heart-fetched Oh's! and giving me a kiss that seemed to
exhale her soul through her lips, she replaced the bed-cloaths over us.
What pleasure she had found I will not say; but this I know, that the
first sparks of kindling nature,
the first ideas of
pollution, were caught by me that night; and that the acquaintance and
with the disobedient of our own sex, is often as fatal to innocence as all the
seductions of the other.
When Phoebe was restor'd to that calm,
which I was far from the enjoyment of myself, she artfully sounded me on all
the points necessary to govern the designs of my virtuous mistress on me, and
by my answers, drawn from pure undissembled nature, she had no reason but to
promise herself imaginable success, as it depended on my ignorance, easiness,
and warm constitution.
Imagine to yourself a man rather past
threescore, short and ill-made, with a yellow cadaverous hue, great goggling
eyes that stared as if he was strangled; and out-mouth from two more properly
tusks than teeth, livid-lips, and breath like a jake's: then he had a peculiar
ghastliness in his grin that made him perfectly frightful, if not dangerous to
women with child; yet, made as
he was thus in mock of man, he was
so blind to his own staring
deformities as to think himself born for pleasing, and that no woman could
see him with impunity: in consequence of which idea, he had lavish'd great sums
on such wretches as could gain upon themselves to pretend love to his person,
whilst to those who had not art or patience to
dissemble the horror it
inspir'd, he behaved even brutally. (female version = Red Queen, Alice in
more than necessity,
made him seek in variety the
provocative that was wanting to raise him to the pitch of enjoyment, which
too he often saw himself baulked of, by the failure of his powers: and this
always threw him into a fit of rage, which he
wreak'd, as far as he durst, on the
innocent objects of his fit of momentary desire.
We were now alone;
and on that idea a sudden fit of trembling seiz'd me.
I was so afraid,
without a precise notion of why, and what I had to fear, that I sat on the
settee, by the fire-side, motionless, and petrified, without life or spirit,
not knowing how to look or how to stir.
But long I was not suffered to
remain in this state of stupefaction: the monster squatted down by me on the
settee, and without farther ceremony or preamble, flings his arms about my
neck, and drawing me pretty forcibly towards him, oblig'd me to receive, in
spite of my struggles to disengage from him, his pestilential kisses, which
quite overcame me.
Finding me then next to senseless, and unresisting,
he tears off my neck handkerchief, and laid all open there to his eyes and
hands: still I endur'd all without flinching, till embolden'd by
my sufferance and
silence, for I had not the power to speak or cry out, he attempted to lay
me down on the settee, and I felt his hand on the lower part of my naked
thighs, which were cross'd, and which he endeavoured to unlock ...
I was roused out of my
passive endurance, and springing from him with an activity he was not
prepar'd for, threw myself at his feet, and begg'd him, in the most moving
tone, not to be rude, and that he would not hurt me: -- 'Hurt you, my dear?'
says the brute; 'I intend you no harm ... has not the old lady told you that I
love you? ... that I shall do handsomely by you?'
'She has indeed,
sir,' said I; 'but I cannot love you, indeed I can not! ... pray let me alone
... I will love you dearly if you will let me alone, and go away ... '
I was talking to the wind; for whether my
attitude, or the
disorder of my dress prov'd
fresh incentives, or
whether he was under the dominion of desires he could not bridle, but snorting
and foaming with lust and rage, he renews his attack, seizes me, and again
attempts to extend and fix me on the settee: in which he succeeded so far as to
lay me along, and even to toss my petticoats over my head, and lay my thighs
bare, which I obstinately kept closed, nor
could he, though he attempted with his knee to force them open, effect it so as
to stand fair for being master of the main avenue.
He was unbuttoned,
both waistcoat and breeches, I only felt
the weight of
his body upon me, whilst I lay struggling with indignation, dying with terror;
he stopped all of a sudden, and got off, panting, blowing, cursing, and
repeating 'old and ugly!' for so I had very naturally called him in the heat of
Such too, and so
cruel was my fate, that I dreaded the sight of Mrs. Brown, as if I had been
the criminal and she the person injur'd; a mistake which you will not think so
strange, on distinguishing that neither virtue nor principles had the least
share in the defence I had made, only the particular aversion I conceiv'd
against the first brutal frightful invader of my tender innocence.
modesty I was brought
up in the habit, not the instruction of, began to melt away like dew before the
sun's heat; not to mention that
I made a vice of
necessity, from the constant
fears I had of being turn'd out to starve.
I had no idea that I
ought to fly anywhere, sooner than stay where I was; nor had I the least sense
of regretting my condition, but waited very quietly for whatever Mrs. Brown
should order concerning me; who on her side, by herself and her agents, took
more than the necessary
precautions to lull and lay asleep all just reflections on my destination.
Preachments of morality over the left shoulder;
a life of joy painted in
the gayest colours; caresses, promises, indulgent treatment: nothing was
wanting to domesticate me
entirely or prevent my going out to get
I dream'd of no such thing.
Hitherto I had been indebted only to the
girls of the house for the corruption of my innocence: their luscious talk, in
which modesty was far from
respected, their description of their engagements with men, had given me a
tolerable insight into the nature and mysteries of their profession, at the
same time that they highly provok'd
an itch of florid
warm-spirited blood through every vein: my bed-fellow Phoebe, whose pupil I
more immediately was, exerted
her talents in giving me the first tinctures of pleasure: whilst nature,
now warm'd and wanton'd with discoveries so interesting,
piqu'd a curiosity which Phoebe
artfully whett'd, and leading me from question to question of her own
suggestion, explain'd to
me all the mysteries of Venus.
I could not long remain in such a
house as that, without being an eyewitness of more than I could conceive from
her descriptions. I crept softly, and post'd myself so, that seeing every thing
minutely, I could not myself be seen; and who should come in but the venerable
mother Abbess herself! hand'd in by a tall, brawny young horse-grenadier,
mould'd in the Hercules
style: in fine, the choice of the most experienc'd dame, in those affairs,
in all London.
Her paramour sat down by her: he seem'd to be a man of
very few words, and a great stomach; for proceeding instantly to essentials, he
gave her some hearty smacks, and thrusting his hands into her breasts,
disengag'd them from her stays, in scorn of whose
confinement they broke loose,
and swagg'd down, navel low at least.
A more enormous pair did my eyes
never behold, nor of a worse colour, flagging-soft, and most lovingly
contiguous: yet such as they were, this neck-beef eater seem'd to paw them with
a most uninvitable gust, seeking in vain to confine or cover one of them with a
hand scarce less than a shoulder of mutton.
After toying with them thus
some time, as if they had been worth it, he laid her down pretty briskly, and
canting up her petticoats, made barely a mask of them to her broad red face,
that blush'd with nothing but brandy.
As he stood on one side, for a
minute or so, unbuttoning his waist-coat and breeches, her fat, brawny thighs
hung down, and the whole greasy landscape lay fairly open to my view; a wide
open-mouth'd gap, overshad'd with a grizzly bush, seem'd held out like a
beggar's wallet for its provision.
I soon had my eyes call'd off by a
more striking object, that entirely engross'd them.
Her sturdy stallion
had now unbutton'd, and produc'd nak'd, stiff, and erect, that wonderful
machine, which I had never seen before, and which, for the interest my own seat
of pleasure began to take furiously in it, I star'd at with all the eyes I had:
however, my senses were too much flurried, too much concenter'd in that now
burning spot of mine, to observe any thing more than in general the make and
turn of that instrument, from which the instinct of nature, yet more than all I
had heard of it, now strongly inform'd me I was to expect that supreme pleasure
which she had place'd in the meeting of those parts so admirably fitt'd for
Long, however, the young spark did
not remain before giving it two or three shakes, by way of brandishing it; he
threw himself upon her, and his back being now towards me, I could only take
his being ingulph'd for grant'd, by the directions he mov'd in, and the
impossibility of missing so
staring a mark; and now the bed shook, the curtains rattl'd so, that I could
scarce hear the sighs and murmurs, the heaves and pantings that accompanied the
action, from the beginning to the end; the sound and sight of which thrill'd to
the very soul of me, and
made every vein of my
body circulate liquid fires: the emotion grew so violent that it almost
intercept'd my respiration.
Prepar'd then, and dispos'd as I was by the
discourse of my companions, and Phoebe's minute detail of everything, no wonder
that such a sight gave the last dying blow to my native innocence.
Whilst they were in the heat
of the action, guid'd by nature only, I stole my hand up my petticoats, and
with fingers all on fire, seiz'd, and yet more inflam'd that center of all my
senses: my heart palpitat'd, as if it would force its way through my bosom; I
breath'd with pain; I twist'd my thighs, squeez'd, and compress'd the lips of
that virgin slit, and following
mechanically the example of Phoebe's manual operation on it, as far as I could
find admission, brought on at last the critical ectasy, the melting flow, into
which nature, spent with excess of pleasure, dissolves and dies
1853 Dr. Isaac Brown, a prominent British
surgeon and president of the Medical Society of London, creates a
surgical procedure to remove the clitoris from women on the grounds that "masturbation caused
epilepsy and convulsive diseases."
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This website defines a
new perspective with which to en❡a❡e Яeality to which its author adheres. The
author feels that the faλsification of reaλity outside personal
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The internati☣nal c☣rp☣rate cartel already controls the world
central banking system, mass media worldwide, the global indus✈rial
mili✈ary en✈er✈ainmen✈ complex and is responsible for
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Coöperation with bi☣hazards of a gun.
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ability to deceive the p☠pulace in general through mass media by pressing
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