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"The function of prayer is not to influence
Æon,
but rather to
change the nature of the one who prays."
Søren
Kierkegaard
It is important for
beginners in prayer to start off by becoming detached from every category of
satisfaction and to enter the path of prayer
solely with the
determination to help Jesus carry the cross.
I shall say nothing
about things of which I do not have much
experience.
Beginners must realize they are starting to
cultivate a garden on very barren soil
full of abominable
weeds.
The Lord pulls
up the weeds and plants good seed.
With the help of the Lord we
must strive, like good
gardeners, to get these plants to grow and take pains to water them so that
they don't wither but come to bud, flower and give forth
a most pleasant
fragrance.
The Garden can be watered in four ways. You may
draw water from a well, get water by means of a waterwheel and aqueducts,
water may flow from a river or a stream
or the water may be provided by rain from the heavens.
A Soul beginning
to practice prayer will have begun to water the garden.
Rain from
heaven often comes when the gardener is least expecting it, although it almost
always occurs after a long period of
prayer and reflection.
In mystical theology
the intellect ceases to work
as the Lord suspends
it.
When the Lord
suspends the intellect and causes it to stop, the Lord gives it that which
holds its attention and makes it marvel.
Without reflection the Eternal Soul understands more
in the space of a
moment than the intellect can understand with
diligence in many years.
The Lord gave me, in a
moment, crystal clear understanding, I knew how to explain the compassion the
Lord grants through prayer in an amazing way.
Through prayer the
Divine Spark of Life is
recognized as the Eternal
Soul.
The Lord desires the
enlightenment of the Eternal
Soul through compassion accompanied
by delight.
For
anyone who has not had the experience it is impossible to understand that
this divine spark cannot be acquired,
only discovered by searching the depths
of the Eternal Soul.
The quietude and recollection of this divine
spark of the Spirit of the Lord
will be noticed no matter how small it is.
The intellect, eager for
delight, is quickly left cold as no matter how much we desire to kindle the
divine spark to
obtain compassionate delight, we appear to be unable to do anything other than
throw water on it and kill the
fire.
If we do not extinguish it, through
our own fault, this tiny divine spark
is what will begin to enkindle in our
Eternal Soul the large
fire that throws forth the flames of the
Compassion of
the Lord.
Calmly and
wisely the mind must understand that one does not deal well with the Lord
by force and that our efforts are like
the careless use of large pieces of
wood which smother this tiny divine spark.
Everything is in motion here.
The intellect representing.
Memory hurrying
about.
For certainly
these faculties tire me
out from time to time.
Although I have a poor memory, I
cannot subdue it.
One should realize this and humbly say: "Lord, what am I capable
of here?"
One should pay
no attention to the intellect, for it is a grinding mill.
The
Eternal Soul
may work to recollect the memory, for often
it will find itself in this Mystical Union,
calm while the intellect wanders
aimlessly.
If the intellect is keen it will compose speeches,
search for ideas and
will think it is doing something
important if those ideas are well expressed.
It is better that the Eternal
Soul leave the intellect alone than chase it.
In those to whom this experience happens, the
effects are remarkable!
One should not weary oneself
in seeking reflections but just remain in His presence with the intellect
quiet and bask in His compassion.
Intellect has a clear understanding
that we are in the Presence of the Lord.
Now, in the Presence of the Lord, ask for
deeper communion not with the noise of words but with longing for union with
the Sovereign Integral.
This mode
of prayer includes many things in which more of the
Compassion of the Lord is obtained than
through a great deal of
intellectual reflection.
The intellect
thinks it has found everything, but knows not how it knows.
In the beginning I was
ignorant as I didn't know the
Lord was in all
things, though He seemed so
present to me, I thought
omnipresence was impossible.
I felt the presence of Him here in my own
Eternal Soul.
The Lord desires for us to know that
He loves us, that His presence is
real.
Those who have no
knowledge told me that He
was present only by grace.
I
could not believe this, as He was
present; and so I was
confused.
A knowledgeable man freed me
from doubt, for he told me
that the Lord was present and of how the
Lord communicates Himself to our
Eternal Soul.
It
seems impertinent as we all know that the Lord always is here with us.
The contentment the Lord grants
fills the void our sin has carved
out.
This contentment takes place in the very intimate depths of the
Eternal Soul, and
the Eternal Soul
doesn't know where the contentment comes from.
The contentment the Lord
grants is different from the delights of Earth.
The
Lord's radiant compassion
causes no harm, no matter how long it lasts.
Nor do I recall the Lord
ever having granted me His favor that I did not feel much better afterward no
matter how ill I had been before.
The experience of feeling of the Lord's
compassion leaves a rare detachment.
More than
spiritual knowledge alone is
involved.
For now that the mind is completely detached from
temporality, it appears that the Lord
wants to effect this detachment in the body itself, and there is brought
about a
new estrangement from worldly things.
The Eternal Soul ascends, taken
up to the highest tower.
The
Eternal Soul looks at those below as one who is out of danger.
In this state of divine grace the Eternal
Soul sees very clearly now.
Fix the mind on true vision and
everlasting wisdom.
Keep this wisdom always in mind,
especially in the beginning.
Remember the short time
everything lasts and how everything is nothing.
It becomes clear it
is necessary to forget these things in order to live.
The
tremendous power of the Lord
impresses deep humility.
Favors given by the Lord
make us incapable of
holding back the body.
From
this experience comes the
need to return to everyday life; wings have sprouted enabling one to fly
with ease; the fledgling has shed its down.
Intellectual humility is
nothing in comparison with the true
humility.
The Lord bestows a
strong desire to advance in communion through prayer.
Eternal Soul, offering
itself up, feels sure, while humble, that it is redeemed.
The Lord
casts out servile fear and grants
a feeling of awe.
Ascension of the Eternal
Soul to the Lord is Ecstasy.
The body is left so light that all
its weight is gone.
This
feeling reaches such a point as to be compared with walking on clouds.
I was conscious in such a
way that I could understand I was being elevated.
The brightness of the sun
therein melts spiritual darkness away.
The longest space of time in
this suspension of all the senses is very short.
If it remain suspended
for a half hour, this would be a very longtime.
The Eternal Soul desires
periods of solitude in order to enjoy succor.
As awareness dawns the Eternal Soul
loses its craving for worldly
things.
It is hard
to explain an experience one cannot even begin to put into words
Being raised up can
only be understood through experience.
Now the quiet and calm remain
as the intellect communes with the
Lord.
Distracted
the will brings the intellect
and memory back to
recollection.
The very gentle
delight in being alive bestowes
peace on the Eternal Soul.
Further
prayer creates deeper union of the Eternal Soul with the Lord's endless
compassion but what this union is, I do not know how to
explain.
These matters are expounded in
mystical theology;
I do not know the words.
The way the Eternal Soul
goes forth from itself is comparable to what happens when a fire is burning and
flaming as it becomes a forceful
blaze.
The flame shoots very high above
the fire, but the flame is
not by that reason something different from the fire but the same flame that is
in the fire.
I am attempting
to explain what Eternal Soul feels when in Divine Union.
Divine Union means that two separate
things become One in Spirit.
"You spent all night crying, "My
Lord! My Lord!"
He who heard your "My Lord' My Lord" has come.
Your grief lasted so long! Look, healing is here:
Your door was locked, look, here is
the key.
You mourned and fasted before the Table of Heaven:
Break your fast now, for the new
Moon is born.
Be
silent, be silent, for by the command of Æon
The shock of amazement annihilates all
words.
Rumi
It frightens those whose intellects
are concerned with things of the Earth that they have
no intellect by which they can understand
divine truths.
Frequently the Lord gives me
an elevation of the spirit within this
union.
When this category of union happens I
cannot engage in
discourse.
Memory
merged with the imagination resembles the death agony.
This with the difference that
the suffering bears along with it
great ecstacy.
It is an arduous, delightful martyrdom since it
admits no earthly thing.
The
Eternal Soul clearly understands that it desires only Union.
Just
as joy suspends the senses, so it is suffering that suspends them here.
In this suffering the
Eternal Soul is
purified like gold in the
crucible.
I can only say that the Eternal
Soul appears to be joined to the Lord.
No one
believes this if they have not
experienced it!
When
thought is in
bondage
Truth remains Hidden,
everything is murky and
unclear,
the
burdensome practice of judging
brings annoyance and
weariness."
Hsin Hsin Ming
The Eternal
Soul understands that it is enjoying an incomprehensible good.
Sin binds us into
spiritual corruption
and holds us in its power.
The
Eternal Soul becomes
obsessed with serving the Lord.
The Eternal Soul is very clearly
aware that it could not have acquired
this virtue in and of itself which came from the Lord.
In that moment
the Eternal Soul
understands the heavenly Gardener granted these favors through
divine mercy and
divine grace.
Virtue is found in
the fragrance of the blooming
flowers.
In regard to thinking of wordly things I recognized
reflecting on things of
this Earth would require no small amount of boldness.
In my opinion
a background of studies is like a treasure to
aid in this practice of union with the Lord if the studies are accompanied by
humility.
I hold that:
Spiritually corrupt
individuals have a tremendous fear of true knowledge which is accompanied by
humility and virtue.
As a
result they condemn this Eternal Soul because they do not know the loving
impulse that moves it.
The life formerly lived was nothing else than
a prisoner's life; nor does it appear to
the Eternal Soul to have been anything other than a prison.
The
Eternal Soul deplores concern about
reputation and the deception it suffered in believing that what men called
'honor' was
true honor.
The
Eternal Soul sees
'honor' is the greatest
lie and all of us are
involved.
The Eternal Soul sees
authentic
honor stands not with error but with
Truth.
I experience
consuming impulses to tell
this truth to those who are rulers.
In my opinion no effort of ours
brings us to epiphanous
contentment.
Once accustomed to Truth everything else appears to be
a shadowplay.
I understand clearly that it
is the Lord who does everything.
He has held me in the palm of His
hand so that I might not turn back.
Teresa Sanchez de Cepeda y
Ahumada |
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