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"The function of prayer is not to influence
Æon,
but rather to
change the nature of the one who prays."
Søren
Kierkegaard
It is important for
beginners in prayer to start off by becoming detached from every category of
satisfaction and to enter the path of prayer
solely with the
determination to help Jesus carry the cross.
I shall say nothing
about things of which I do not have much experience.
Beginners must realize
they are starting to cultivate a garden on
very barren soil full of
abominable weeds.
The
Lord pulls up the weeds and plants good seed.
With the help of the
Lord we must strive, like good
gardeners, to get these plants to grow and take pains to water them so that
they don't wither but come to bud, flower and
give forth a most pleasant
fragrance.
The Garden can be watered in four ways. You may draw
water from a well, get water by means of a waterwheel and aqueducts,
water may flow from a river or a stream
or the water may be provided
by rain from the heavens.
A Soul beginning to practice prayer will
have begun to water the garden.
Rain from heaven
often comes when the gardener is least expecting it, although it almost always
occurs after a long
period of prayer and reflection.
In mystical theology
the intellect ceases to
work as Lord suspends
it.
When the Lord suspends the
intellect and causes it to stop, the Lord gives it that which
holds its attention and makes it marvel.
Without
reflection the Eternal Soul understands
more in the space of a moment than
the intellect can understand with
diligence in many years.
The Lord gave me, in a
moment, crystal clear understanding, I knew how to explain the compassion the
Lord grants through prayer in an amazing way.
Through prayer the
Divine Spark of Life is
recognized as the Eternal
Soul.
The Lord desires the
enlightenment of the Eternal
Soul through compassion accompanied by
delight.
For anyone who has not
had the experience it is impossible to understand that
this divine spark cannot be acquired,
only discovered by searching the depths
of the Eternal Soul.
The
quietude and recollection of this divine spark of
the Spirit of the Lord will be
noticed no matter how small it is.
The
intellect, eager for delight, is
quickly left cold as no matter
how much we desire to kindle the
divine spark to obtain
compassionate delight, we appear to be unable to do anything other than
throw water on it and
kill the fire.
If we do
not extinguish it, through our own fault,
this tiny divine spark is what will begin to enkindle in our
Eternal Soul the large
fire that throws forth the flames of the
Compassion of the
Lord.
Calmly and
wisely the mind must understand that one does not deal well with the Lord
by force and that our efforts are like
the careless use of large pieces
of wood which smother this tiny divine spark.
I close my eyes.
Everything is in motion
here.
The intellect
representing. Memory
hurrying about.
For certainly
these faculties tire me out
from time to time.
Although I have a poor memory, I
cannot subdue it.
One should realize this and humbly say: "Lord, what am I capable
of here?"
One should pay no attention to the intellect, for it is a
grinding mill.
The Eternal
Soul may work to recollect the
memory, for often it will find itself in this
Mystical Union, calm while
the intellect wanders
aimlessly.
If the intellect is keen
it will compose
speeches, search for ideas and
will think it is doing something
important if those ideas are well expressed.
It is better that the Eternal
Soul leave the intellect alone than chase it.
In those to whom this experience happens,
the effects are remarkable!
One should not weary oneself in
seeking reflections but just remain
in His presence with the intellect quiet and bask in His compassion.
Intellect has a clear
understanding that we are in the Presence of the Lord.
Now, in the Presence of the Lord, ask for
deeper communion not with the noise of words but with longing for union with
the Sovereign Integral.
This mode
of prayer includes many things in which more of the
Compassion of the Lord is obtained than
through a great deal of
intellectual reflection.
The intellect thinks it has found
everything, but knows not how it knows.
In the beginning I was
ignorant as I didn't know the
Lord was in all
things, though He seemed so
present to me, I thought
omnipresence was impossible.
I felt the presence of Him here in my own
Eternal Soul.
The Lord desires for us to know that
He loves us, that His presence is
real.
Those who have no
knowledge told me that
He was present only by
grace.
I could not believe
this, as He was present; and
so I was confused.
A knowledgeable man
freed me from doubt, for he
told me that the Lord was present and of how the
Lord communicates Himself to our
Eternal Soul.
It
seems impertinent as we all know that the Lord always is here with us.
The contentment the Lord grants
fills the void our sin has carved out.
This contentment takes place in
the very intimate depths of the
Eternal Soul, and the
Eternal Soul doesn't know
where the contentment comes from.
The contentment the Lord grants is
different from the delights of Earth.
The Lord's radiant
compassion causes no harm, no matter how long it lasts.
I
recall that after the Lord granted me His favor
I felt much
better afterward no matter how ill I had been before.
The experience of feeling of the Lord's compassion leaves
a rare detachment.
More than spiritual
knowledge alone is involved.
For now that the mind is completely
detached from temporality, it appears that
the Lord wants to effect this detachment in the body itself, and there is
brought about a new
estrangement from worldly things.
The Eternal Soul ascends,
taken up to the highest tower.
The Eternal Soul looks at those below
as one who is out of danger.
In this state of divine grace the Eternal
Soul sees very clearly now.
Fix the mind on
true vision and
everlasting wisdom.
Keep this wisdom always in mind,
especially in the beginning.
Remember the short time
everything lasts and how everything is nothing.
It becomes clear it is necessary to forget
these things in order to live.
The
tremendous power of the Lord
impresses deep
humility.
Favors given by
the Lord make us
incapable of holding back the
body.
From this experience comes
the need to return to
everyday life; wings have sprouted enabling one to fly with ease; the
fledgling has shed its down.
Intellectual humility is
nothing in comparison with the true
humility.
The Lord bestows a strong
desire to advance in communion through prayer.
Eternal Soul,
offering itself up, feels sure, while humble, that it is redeemed.
The Lord casts out servile fear
and grants a feeling of awe.
Ascension of the Eternal Soul to
the Lord is Ecstasy.
The
body is left so light that all its weight is gone.
This feeling reaches such a point as to be
compared with walking on clouds.
I was
conscious in such a
way that I could understand I was being elevated.
The brightness of the sun
therein melts spiritual darkness away.
The longest space of time in
this suspension of all the senses is very short.
If it remain suspended
for a half hour, this would be a very longtime.
The Eternal Soul desires
periods of solitude in order to enjoy succor.
As awareness dawns the Eternal Soul
loses its craving for worldly
things.
It is hard to
explain an experience one cannot even begin to put into words
Being raised up can
only be understood through experience.
Now the quiet and calm remain
as the intellect communes with the
Lord.
Distracted
the will brings the intellect and
memory back to
recollection.
The very gentle delight in
being alive bestowes peace on the Eternal
Soul.
Further prayer creates deeper
union of the Eternal Soul with the Lord's endless compassion but what this
union is, I do not know how to explain.
These matters are expounded
in mystical theology;
I do not know the words.
The way the Eternal Soul
goes forth from itself is comparable to what happens when a fire is burning and
flaming as it becomes a forceful
blaze.
The flame shoots very high above the
fire, but the flame is not by
that reason something different from the fire but the same flame that is in the
fire.
I am attempting to
explain what Eternal Soul feels when in Divine Union.
Divine Union means that two separate
things become One in Spirit.
"You spent all night crying, "My Lord! My
Lord!"
He who heard your "My Lord' My Lord" has come.
Your
grief lasted so long! Look, healing is
here:
Your door was
locked, look, here is the key.
You mourned and fasted before the
Table of Heaven:
Break your fast now, for the new
Moon is born.
Be
silent, be silent, for by the command of Æon
The shock of amazement annihilates all
words.
Rumi
It frightens those whose intellects
are concerned with things of the Earth that they have
no intellect by which they can understand
divine truths.
Frequently
the Lord gives me an elevation of
the spirit within this union.
When this category of union happens I
cannot engage in
discourse.
Memory
merged with the imagination resembles the death agony.
This with the difference that the suffering bears along with it great
ecstacy.
It is an arduous,
delightful martyrdom since it admits no earthly thing.
The Eternal Soul clearly understands
that it desires only Union.
Just as joy suspends the senses, so it is
suffering that suspends them here.
In this
suffering the Eternal Soul is
purified like gold in the
crucible.
I can only say
that the Eternal Soul appears to be joined to the Lord.
No one believes this if they have not experienced
it!
When
thought is in
bondage
Truth remains Hidden,
everything is murky and
unclear,
the
burdensome practice of judging
brings annoyance and
weariness."
Hsin Hsin Ming
The Eternal Soul
understands that it is enjoying an incomprehensible good.
Sin binds us into
spiritual corruption and
holds us in its power.
The Eternal Soul becomes obsessed with
serving the Lord.
The Eternal
Soul is very clearly aware
that it could not have acquired this virtue in and of itself which came from
the Lord.
In that moment the Eternal Soul understands the
heavenly Gardener granted these favors through
divine mercy and
divine grace.
Virtue is found in
the fragrance of the blooming
flowers.
In regard to thinking of wordly things I recognized
reflecting on things of
this Earth would require no small amount of boldness.
In my opinion
a background of studies is like a treasure to
aid in this practice of union with the Lord if the studies are accompanied by
humility.
I hold that:
Spiritually corrupt individuals have
a tremendous fear of true knowledge which is accompanied by humility and
virtue.
As a result they
condemn this Eternal Soul because they do not know the loving impulse that
moves it.
The life formerly lived was nothing else than a prisoner's
life; nor does it appear to the Eternal Soul to have been anything other than a
prison.
The Eternal Soul deplores concern about reputation and the
deception it suffered in believing that what men called 'honor' was true
honor.
The Eternal
Soul sees 'honor' is
the greatest lie and all of
us are involved.
The Eternal Soul sees
authentic
honor stands not with error but with
Truth.
I experience
consuming impulses to tell
this truth to those who are rulers.
In my opinion no effort of ours
brings us to epiphanous
contentment.
Once accustomed to Truth everything else appears to be
a shadowplay.
I understand
clearly that it is the Lord who does everything.
He has held me in
the palm of His hand so that I might not turn back.
Teresa Sanchez de
Cepeda y Ahumada |
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